This post is about the bathroom at work.  The PUBLIC bathroom.

OK, first let me start by explaining that I work in building that houses a number of businesses.  We have a unisex bathroom in our suite, but the echo power in that room is AMAZING!  From any number of desks you can hear everything from the faintest tinkle to full on agonizing ass explosions. 

I have this thing about people I work with hearing me go.  Let's just say I don't always know what's gonna happen and I don't want my co-workers to hear the soundtrack, so I use the "building" public bathroom unless there is no one else around. 

The public bathroom pisses me off BIGTIME, it brings out the rage in me.  It makes me angry at any random chick that I don't know, because the ladies I work with would never do the things that are done in this room.  At times I've been inspired to write a few passive aggressive notes of my own (but I haven't).

Fellas, I hate to tell you, but some women, a LOT of women are disgusting pigs.  It's not just the building I work in, it's pretty much any bathroom that a lot of women use at once.  Sporting events, concerts, fairs, malls, all very very gross. 

In our little public bathroom at work so many things have angered me over the years:  Women piss on the seats, not very skilled squatters, but the ironic thing is that the stalls have the paper seat covers, so why do you even need to try and squat?  Women shit and don't flush...and it's not one of those that comes back...they just don't even flush.  Afraid of touching the handle?  Use your foot, I've done it!  Grrrr....  They...God I'm embarrased to say it for them...but I must...they leave blood on the seat, on the floor, on the stall walls....  I don't even know how unless it's intentional.  One day I went in there are there was "a fluid" all over the floor surrounding the toilet.  I tried to think that it was snow melting off the chick's shoes, but the color was the kind of snow you don't eat.  Another time I was welcomed by the toilet and surrounding floor and walls covered in vomit.  Oh, and she didn't flush. 

There are a few stalls, 6 or 7 I guess, and I've been in there day after day, opening this stall to see some horrible mess, move onto the next, another mess...and don't think I'm not in there saying out loud "Ew, you nasty bitch!", "Oh my God who RAISED you?", "This is SICK!" until I find a clean one.

And at the root of my anger is knowing that someone has to clean that up.  I've seen the cleaning people, they're there twice a day.  TWICE A DAY!  I know their faces...how can people be so disrespectful, so rude, so self centered, so NASTY? 

It pisses me off. 

Today something interesting happened in there.  I walked into the most ghastly cloud of ass funk I've smelled in a while.  No matter...whatever, it IS a bathroom afterall.  I plunked down at my "usual" stall and the woman in the stall next to me started up a conversation.  WTF?? 

"Have you ever smelled a more horrible smell?" she said.  "No, it's pretty bad.".  "I think these toilets are messed up, I think there's a backup some where, this is awful.".  "Yeah it's pretty bad." (but it IS after lunch) I thought of adding.  "It seems to be getting worse every day" she said, I replied with "Uh huh", in other words, I'm here to do something and talking isn't it.

Don't get me wrong.  I'm OK chatting from behind the stall door with people I know, fine...but I don't like talking to strangers.  And I HATE when people talk on their cell phones in the bathroom.  That's just gross.  I only do it (at home) when I don't have a choice, usually when I'm talking to someone who won't stop talking long enough to let me say I need a break and I'll call back.  You know who you are.

Anyway, back to chatty patty...I was pretty sure that SHE was responsible for the funk in the room and she didn't want me to know it so she came up with a ruse to try and distract me.  Interesting tactic.     But no need to defend her offense because I didn't intend to call her out on it.  I save that for family. 

It's funny, public bathrooms...I mean it happens, right?  Bomb dropping, we all do it, you'd get sick if you didn't.  I'm not sure which is worse, the smells or the sounds.  I laugh when I hear noises...but I have the 12 year old's sense of humor.  But in a public bathroom it's like you're there, someone does that, a sound or a smell or worse yet, you do, and it seems like you have to wait for a full evacuation before leaving because you don't want people to associate a face with the sound or the smell.  LOL...so funny.  People are waiting outside the bathroom, in a group, waiting to point and say "That's her, she's the one who dropped ass!".  I'd like to think I'd say, "Yeah I shit, so what, like you don't?" but I think I'd be mortified.

Damn now I'm typing about fart sounds and laughing, the anger is gone.  Let me end with this:  Women are NASTY and I hate them for it.

What's up with not cleaning up after yourself? I just dont get it. your right women are pigs! I would hate to see a man's bathroom if this is what ours are like sometimes.

LOL love the video. :)

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